she does not feel good enough, she thinks they should stand up against the erudite, and she does not want to be selfless for her faction. she does not feel good enough for her family, who are very selfless.
i think it is both, as she has an inner problem, and the erudite are threatening her faction.
When you are at the school you are their responsibility and if you leave to go somewhere and something happen it is on them.plus you may not be able to get back in time.
